This is a simple 1-10 rating system. It is based on the 10 scientifically proven dimensions of “prodom” and “pro-ness”.
HOW TO USE THE SCALE
Just go through the categories and rate yourself along the way by using the examples as a guide. For instance, if you fall somewhere between the two picture examples, you might rate yourself a “4″ or “5″. In the end, quantify your scores and average them out to come up with your Pro Potential Index Rating. If you score a perfect 10 using this system (very difficult), rest assured that your AOY’s, Classic, and FLW CUP victories are imminent.
1. FITNESS - Rate your fishing fitness.
POINT
Crews... lean and fit... unacceptable among pro bass ranks.
POINTS
Bill Lowen - The perfect pro bass figure
2. BOAT’S TOP SPEED - Rate your boat’s speed.
POINT
"I dropped my meth in the lake back there."
This checkered flag dude and Randy Howell would be a…
POINTS
Notice the aerodynamic haircut, adding to his boat's top speed.
3. TOW VEHICLE - Rate your tow vehicle’s appearance, power and pimpness.
POINT
I see a HUGE problem here... This boat is missing a HydroWave unit. How will he "ignite a feeding frenzy".
POINTS
Skeet Reese's truck... 10 minutes after defeating a Decepticon
4. GHOST WRITTEN ARTICLES - Rate the number of ghost written articles published in your name. Also consider the magazine/website interviews done on your behalf by somebody else… you know… a PR stand-in… the kind of people you pay to manage your image and do all the Facebook updates for you so you only have to engage your legions of adoring fans as little as possible.
POINT
That's me. Nobody ghost writes for me.
POINTS
KVD... "It's all about the attitude".
5. SKIN CANCER - Rate your level of skin cancer or likelihood of developing other mutations of the epidermis.
POINT
Zero skin cancer here.
POINTS
Kelly Jordan... obviously a "10".
6. EXPERIENCE - Rate your experience…
POINT
Kyle "I Don't Need No Sunglasses" Welcher (19 years old)
POINTS
The ever classy, Guy Eaker. The best shirt tucker in the industry.
7. NAME - Rate the bass “pro-ness” of your name.
POINT
David Smith... nothing cool about this guy or his name. He looks miserable.
POINTS
O.T. FEARS III - Not sure there's anything cool about him either, but he has an acronym name, bushy eyebrows as big as his matching Hitler-esque mustache, and he can darn sure hang a treble hook off of a yellow spinnerbait.
8. SIGNATURE LURE POTENTIAL - Rate the likelihood of your name, initials, or signature appearing on a lure’s package.
POINT
While Brent Broderick's signature is unlikely to appear on any lure packaging, I commend him for not giving himself the nickname "BB" in a lame attempt to "market his image".
POINTS
KVD... No surprise here.
9. COMMUNICATION AND PERSONALITY - Rate your overall command of redneck humor and use of Southern sayings and euphemisms.
POINT
I LOVE Rick Clunn's Darth Vader inspired sun hat and gloves... for real. Very smart. I respect the man. Though he can probably conduct seminars about Native American philosophies, his quiet reserve leads many to misunderstand him.
POINTS
While he sometimes appears confused about his identity - tree stand good ol' boy vs. Dirty South redneck rapper - Gerald "G-Man" Swindle has the talking routine down pat.
10. JERSEY DESIGN - Rate your jersey’s clutter, color ugliness, color variation, and overall logo-cramness.
POINT
Casey Ashley - I actually really like this jersey! Nice and clean.
POINTS
Dave Lefebre's old jersey... I'm counting at least 18 logos (just on the front!) and 17 colors. My eyes can hardly bear the sight. I gotta ask... has anyone ever purchased Frosted Flakes as a result of seeing Lefebre's "Tony the Tiger" jersey? Just checking.
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So… what’s your score? Remember, your whole career depends on this! Average your score and share in the comments below. I know we bass fellers ain’t real grate at math, but y’all gotta count up yer total and devide by 10.
Fish Strong!
